Listening to songs that are sung by what seems to be forlorn men really confuses me
Who are all these sad souls and how was it possible for them to ever love someone, truly care for someone-?
To imagine a guy liking a girl for more than sex seems like the thickest damn lie anyone could ever conjure up
Then again, it’s clearly possible, as there are so many men that have felt compelled by this emotion enough to write or sing something this heartfelt
It is just not fathomable with me in the situation
I guess it’s easy to fall for anyone else’s personality, the way they smile and laugh about silly things, among whatever other sappy things that guys sing about I guess
Not me, though
I feel like I’m some uninteresting geological formation that blends into the background rubble of any city
No one sees me for anything more than something with a heartbeat
It’s impossible
It’s been proven to be impossible
On the Richter magnitude scale, I am someone who barely causes even the slightest tremor in the heart of any man. There are sensational, gorgeous women who instantaneously cause a tsunami within the blood of any passing man.
And then there are the internal beauties who cause slowly rising yet intense avalanches as men discover their brightly lit personalities.
Me, well,
I don’t mean to brag here, but whatever emotions I provoke in a man don’t even make it onto the Richter scale because it’s in the negatives. It reforms land because I’m just that repulsive in passing. Other girls shake the earth where they stand while I am immediately glanced past because I’ve nothing to show on the outside or on the inside!
Talk about special.
I don’t like to be down on myself. In fact, I told myself I wanted to be more positive as some stupid New Years resolution a while back. So I’m sorry to let you down but damn
-
When nothing, and I mean nothing, goes your way, you’re only left but to wonder why- and if you really are just that uninteresting and unlovable as a human being. Maybe all my fears are spot on, though, and that’s got to count for something..?
That I’m correct about the fact that no guy would ever want to date a girl like me.
Maybe all I’m worth is just one night meetings, not even one night stands. If I’m lucky, they’ll offer to buy me a drink. But, that’s only because they probably pity me. When I tell them “You don’t have to!”
And they exclaim something dumb like, “But I want to! ” — all of this is obviously some bullshit maneuver to conceal the fact that they have to hold their gag reflex while talking to me, or at least remind themselves that the night will soon be over so that I won’t accidentally catch them yawning at my presence.
I looked over my past posts and realized that a highly reoccurring theme was that I thought I was “good at attracting men at bars”
Was I severely demented when I typed all that shit???
Who… Why???? I apologize for sounding so cocky and self-assured, because I’m NOT. I’m NOT good at that, I’m really not.
I’m just a stupid kid strolling into a place that I am probably mostly unwelcome at anyway, thinking with my giant demented head to say that oh, yea, I’m only good at getting guys to want me as a physical badge.
Girl, please. You’re not good looking enough to have a guy even say you’re a 5. You’re not even AVERAGE!
Wake up- you’re a female in a bar and you’re alone. Of course people will look- like why the fuck are you alone-??
Oh yea, because you’re boring as hell and your -5 on the Richter scale of aesthetic charm is visible from a 10 mile radius. People go to the circus to see the freak show, so it’s only natural that they’re looking at you for the same reason.
Next year’s resolution will be to fully accept this fact instead of continually trying to tell myself that I’ve still some qualities within myself that are worth anything
Being hopeful never really gets you anywhere other than feeling shittier than you talked yourself up to feel in the first place.
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